August 24, 2020, Beaumont-
As several of the planets of our solar system are in retrograde, in relation to Earth it is said that we each go back over old ground. In my case, I have found, in meditation, that I want to pull back from groups of people- and the more insular I perceive the group to be, the less I want to do with them, of late.
Group leaders seem to pick up on that, and I end up excluded more from discussions and more specific conversations. I know, deep down, what my own task is, in reflecting a more positive self-image in their presence. It is a matter of shutting off the aspects of my own being that end up being projected onto those whom I perceive as more “prominent”, “eminent”, “powerful”.
This old ground will be raked over, a few more times, until I can at long last manage to cease viewing myself, internally, as less worthy of being part of a given group-especially as I have been included, at least to some level. That this goes back to high school, which, in reality, was essentially a happy time for me- with only my self-concept occasionally getting in the way, is a sign that it is long past time to realize, and accept, how far I’ve come.
August 20, 2020-
I have written, on another medium, about both regarding the right of a human being to care for own body to be sacred and the right of a child to life as also being sacred. I see no contradiction between the two, but our society has allowed itself to view the two as somehow at variance, in certain cases.
I see this as one result of our movement away from the concept of the sacred. This does not specifically have to do with “unchurching” or movement away from long-established organized religions. It has more to do with the rising of uncertainty, of insecurity in people’s lives, in this time of massive, and sometimes instantaneous, transition. It opens the door for a relatively small number of people, with untoward views of how to attain population control, to seize control of a debate which did not even need to happen.
There will always be adults who are uncomfortable, even hostile, in the company of children. There will always be those who don’t understand the nurturance of infants and toddlers. They were either mistreated, or not treated at all, in their own infancy and childhood, or are of a temperament that doesn’t mesh well with the organic nature of child behaviour. They prize strict order and predictability in their world. These are the vanguard of the Abortion Lobby, and of the nascent Neo-Eugenics movement, which seeks to bring about social acceptance for the killing of newborns with certain disabilities.
That this segment of society should link arms with the political Left, that element who have, for so long been associated with inclusion, and who have been in the vanguard of genuine progress in the advancement of women, people of colour, sexual minorities and immigrants, is both cognitively dissonant and profoundly concerning. The linchpin here seems to be the right of a woman to decide what happens to her own body, a right that has always existed in the sight of God, but has, for so long a time, been slighted by patriarchal thinking.
A person who has been relegated to the back of the line, in self-determination, who has not been loved and nurtured by those around her, who feels totally alone and friendless, is easy prey for those who hold a skewed understanding of population control. Abortion of a pregnancy, which in cases of an unviable fetus may well be medically necessary, is now being promoted as a mere option, an elective procedure, one of many ways by which a person may exercise birth control. A subgroup of the Abortion Lobby has even hit upon the aborted fetus as a resource- a source of organs to be harvested, a source of Deoxyribonucleic Acid, a source of stem cells for research and for vaccines.
Women who are pregnant, regardless of circumstances, need and deserve to be completely enveloped in a culture of love. They neither need nor deserve judgement, from a standpoint of shallow morality, nor do they need or deserve to be the foils of those who, either consciously or unconsciously, detest infants and children, seeing the innocent and vulnerable as simply a means to an end. A loving culture feels the pain, sorrow and confusion of a woman or girl who is at wit’s end. A loving culture presents, and discusses with her, all the options available in this most personal and delicate of circumstances. It honours her informed and well-considered decision. It helps her heal.
Indeed, it is a shorter step than many in the Abortion Lobby realize, from the practice of their craft to the organized trafficking of children, a phenomenon from which the majority of abortionists would, no doubt, recoil in horror, but which nonetheless is a clear and present danger.
We, as a society, have one long-term choice-to return to a place in our hearts where all life is sacred.
August 19, 2020-
I have been pondering, since early this morning, as to the nature of my decades, lived thus far.
Young mother, anticipation, rough birth.
World still aflame, born under the element of Fire
Walking alone at age of three; hairbrush to the backside
Loved pictures and songs; pile of 45s in a memorized order
Family in a ramshackle house, which soon became a decent home
Three became four, then five.
First grade, morning bell rung by teacher
Second grade, more families in the neighbourhood
Third grade, began reading like a pro; teacher was like an angel
Fourth grade- Sometime tyranny, worn-out, angry Reading Instructor, Long Division
1950-59 was the decade of inception.
Fifth grade- Hypersensitive, wary of the Principal, death of Grandma
Sixth grade-Attention Deficit Disorder, hospitalized for colon issues
Junior High School- Mischief, girls mattered, one fire followed another,
High School- Best years ever, I-the Individual, clueless about attire, scattered work habits
Post-Graduate- Flubbed first semester, Demon Alcohol, lack of coordination, Army Basic Training, Postal Clerk at Fort Myer, Saw Moon Landing, Missed Woodstock
1960-1969 was the decade of formation.
Army Years- Lost buddies in VietNam, protest marches and intel duty, personal investigation of combat theater, clueless in Sydney
Community College- Series of dates, series of flubs, community involvement, living away from home, living back at home, Quebec-Ville and Montreal, hitchhiking across the continent
University- Dorm year, rooming house, apartment life, incompetent as editor, successful as student, so/so as teaching intern, summer hotel work, Bachelor of Arts in Psychology
Maine years- Staying distant when asked, substitute teaching, tutoring, Teacher Aide, more Demon Alcohol, visits with extended family, two siblings married, all over the state and the Maritimes
Villa School- Saved by the West, attempted Math instruction, dormitory watch, all over the West and the country, San Diego and Disneyland
1970-1979 was the decade of instruction.
Graduate School years- Town House in a quiet neighbourhood, Zuni, Baha’i Faith, first real adult love, Master of Arts in Education (Counseling)
Tuba City Years- School Counselor, Newlywed, Pilgrimage to the Holy Land, London and Canterbury, death of Nana, death of a dentist friend, deaths of children, Guyana, wedding of Glenn & Barbie, Pine Ridge, Omaha Nation, Columbus Youth Conference, death of my father
Jeju Island- House husband for a semester, Work Visa wait time, grappling with cultural baggage, Baha’is of Korea, troubled expatriates, Visiting Professor of English, training teachers, birth of a son, back and forth across the Pacific, Baha’i International Pioneer
1980-89 was the decade of maturation.
Jeju 2.0- Facing the culture of sexual harassment, empowering women students, enjoying life with a toddler, standing at the Demarcation Line, honouring our elders
Navajo-Hopi 2.0- More School Counseling, active child protection, rescuing two girls, saving our son, losing youngest brother, addressing ambition, Lady the Dachshund, Baha’i homefront pioneer, Principal in two schools, Keams Canyon, Jeddito, Chilchinbeto, Salome
1990-99 was the decade of professional success.
The Active Urban years- Y2K, Mingus Mountain Academy, Kingswood Estates, Mesa Community College, substitute teaching, El Mirage Elementary, Fuhr chiropractic, Phoenix Baha’i newsletter, Sierra Pines Apartments, the house on Solar Drive
The Caretaker Years- Penny’s two falls, my fall into despair, more substitute teaching, WIS International, Southwest Network, Ironwood Elementary, Palo Verde Middle School, poor career choices, ASU West, President Obama at Penny’s graduation, two wrecked cars, Dr. Yau, hyperbaric oxygen, Stem Cell Therapy, six family weddings, Aram graduates High School
2000-09 was the decade of reckoning
Caretaking and Losing- Trillium Specialty Hospital, renovating and painting the house, MRSA, Dr. Desvignes, Chapter 7, John C. Lincoln Hospital, facing my demons, Odyssey Hospice, turning sixty, Durant’s Steak House, Penny’s transition
Feeling My Way- Aram in the Navy, Kim & Stu, short-selling house, Louhelen Baha’i School, meandering across the country, helping in-laws, moving to Prescott, Willow Creek Gardens, Pacific Coast and interior Northwest, Texas Circle, wayward Vision Quest, emotional overkill, death of father-in-law, D-Day Anniversary, Berga, World Cup celebrations, Rouen landmarks, Paris by day and night, Luxembourg National Day, Iolani Palace, Waikiki, Tiger Cruise
Settling in My Space- Arizona Avenue, Prescott Circle Trail, Black Canyon National Recreation Trail, southeast Alaska, BRIDGES Program, RISE Program, Prescott High School, southern California beach towns, Aram to Korea, Carson City-Reno family, Gulf Coast journey, cross-continental journeys, loss of two cars, break-in to a third, Red Cross, death of mother-in-law, semi-retirement, Do Terra Essential Oils, Aram & Yunhee, return to Korea
2010-19 was the decade of resilience
2020- 29 is the decade of endurance
August 15, 2020-
I woke up grouchy, this morning, and had to sit for a few minutes, processing a few unresolved issues from the past, which, it is said, come up whenever several of Earth’s fellow planets go in retrograde from this world. One thing that annoys me, that has little or nothing to do with retrogrades, though, is the dry, extreme heat that comes with a La Nina summer. It will be dry as a bone, from California to Texas, into September, unless the La Nina pattern breaks up ahead of schedule.
So, on days like this, I have only to pull myself together, with extra hydration, and a large meal in midday, with smaller fare earlier and later. Fortunately, too, the Microgreen and Wheatgrass delivery came, this afternoon, as did the coming month’s supply of do Terra products.
It was an emotional lift to take that large meal at Rustic Cafe, which I had not visited since before the pandemic shutdown. The young sisters-in-law who work the front are ever peppy and cheerful, lifting everyone’s spirits. The food is always hearty and in manageable portions, as well as being scrumptious. Unlike a few of my other favourite spots, there is seating inside.
Another bit of good news: Farmers’ Market will move to a site that is more welcoming to the staff, vendors and patrons. The parking lot of a shuttered elementary school will be our gathering place, in perpetuity, come September.
Dog Days can wear one out, so the spirit must work harder at making the most of the last few weeks of high heat. Who knows? We may get a wet September and October, which has happened in the past, most notably, ten years ago.
August 14, 2020-
When I was around thirty-one, I learned to play chess, by watching two chess masters teaching a group of Dineh boys, in the school where I worked and in the neighbouring junior high school.
Chess is a game of high presence and stealth. Many times, a player becomes absorbed in own feelings of cleverness and innovation, until the more present opponent makes the winning gambit, and announces “Checkmate!”. Chess can morph into Covert External Tyranny.
There are, essentially, three forms of tyranny: Overt External, Covert External and Self-Imposed.
Overt External is most often aimed at transforming the person subjected to the trials. It is never intended to permanently disempower its target subject. Basic and advanced military training; team coaching-in fact, any sort of “Boot Camp”, headed by a hard-nosed, but self-effacing, task master, exemplifies Overt External Tyranny. It occurs for a specified period of time, has specific performance goals, and once these are regarded as having been met, the subject is congratulated, the tyranny lifts and all participants come to know one another on a more equal level. A variation on this is SOMETIMES shown by our current President-hardly a self-effacing man, at least on the surface, but one who does, privately, give credit to those who have taken, and met, a challenge he has thrown out. The peace agreement between the State of Israel and the United Arab Emirates is an example of this.
Covert External Tyranny is illustrated by the common method of preparing crustaceans for food. The animal is placed in a pot of cold water, under which a flame is then lit. The water slowly heats, and the animal, being sensitized to the rising temperature, shows no distress. Once the water is heated to a point that no longer sustains life, the animal’s awareness is negated. It loses consciousness, it is boiled to the point where its flesh is safe to eat and the tyranny, in this individual case, comes to an end, only to be replicated, thousands of times over, with different crustaceans.
In the human world, a budding Covert Tyrant will study the target population. The interactions, mindsets and approaches to new ideas, of those intended to be subjugated, will be closely watched and a plan of action will be gradually devised. The Covert Tyrant will appear on the scene as a friend of the people, who will call attention to real and imagined difficulties they have faced. S(he) will then suggest ways to solve these problems, which look great, at first blush. A critical mass of the target group will be elated, extol the virtues of the newly arrived saviour.
The deception has thus started to embed itself, and ere long, as the people give up more and more of their prerogatives and freedoms to the Covert Tyrant, and regime, the rules and the penalties for non-compliance become more stringent. Before long, the tyrant and successors have cowed the populace, and the true intention, usually to enrich themselves, at the expense of the populace, and in perpetuity, is revealed. It is the boiling water, but the semi-conscious victims barely take notice. To those few who do raise a protest, the tyrant responds either with brute force or by disparaging the critics, rendering them as pariahs to the wider community. The current President has followed this pattern, as well. It is my view, though, that he is not the prime mover of the stealthy oppression. He is a bit player. Those who are really working behind the scenes have done their homework, have carefully worked, at state and local levels-and in the judiciary, where lifetime appointments are not easily abrogated by the voting public.
I have mentioned a right-wing claque, led currently by Charles Koch, in previous posts. They are seemingly opposed by an opposite, but more loosely-organized, oligarchy. Both, however, seek the disempowerment of the common man, with a view towards dominance towards their own ends-whether personal power and comfort for an elite, as defined by themselves or for the dispiriting of the masses, who will then grovel and serve without complaint. The enslavement of Africans and certain others, from the 17th-19th Centuries, is a prime example of the latter. Low wage employment and human trafficking, in the 20th Century and presently, are examples of the former.
These are made possible by the third form of tyranny: Self-imposed. Every human being has a modicum of desire to please those close to self: Child to parent and, sometimes, the reverse; spouse to spouse; worker to supervisor, or both, to employer; citizen to public official, and again, sometimes in reverse; friend to friend.
An imbalance in this desire, often sparked by low self-esteem, can lead to tyranny towards self. I have browbeaten myself, on occasion, for not having pleased a person whom I had held up as either a real or imagined authority figure. I wanted to please my parents, close relatives, those bosses for whom I’ve had genuine respect, my driving instructor-back in high school, my late wife. It was only when I learned to love and accept myself, within my own space, that this tyranny became unnecessary, and faded away.
There is much that we could discuss further, along these lines. I am still resistant to uninvited critics, who seek to impose their will-either overtly or covertly. Only by examining their motives from a safe distance does that change my response.
August 13, 2020-
The self-styled “enlightened one” launched into her dire warning: “If you vote against your current president, you will be voting for the Cabal.” With that, sick to my stomach, I cut off the video. This, sadly, heartbreakingly, is what the New Age is offering us. I have not made up my mind about my vote, in the coming election. There is a long time, in real terms, between now and November 3. Yet, having just finished reading “Democracy in Chains”, by Nancy McLean, I see that there are, in effect, two “cabals” vying against one another.
The bona fide claque, whose puppet master is Charles Koch, a man with little in the way of either love or trust in the common people, is angling for control of this nation, and it has come a long way towards achieving its ends. It has now cultivated a band of what Vladimir Lenin (actually one of the idols of Koch’s former chief ally, the late James Buchanan [the Nobel Laureate economist, not the former President], called “useful idiots”. These are put forward as Cosmically-Connected, enlightened souls, with a tie to the supernatural. Koch’s understanding of New Age philosophy is spot-on. All he had to do, to get these individuals to march in lock step obedience, was cast the sitting U.S. President as a chess master, a “Light Being”, who will save us all-and do it while appearing to be a dim-witted oaf. He had only to bring up deep-seated, if somewhat justified, fears of secret societies, such as the Masonic Temple-and there they were, his enlightened army-who could bring the young and idealistic into the fold.
Baha’u’llah forbids us from joining secret societies. He also discourages Baha’is from dabbling in psychic phenomena. He calls on us to eschew involvement in partisan politics-the raw material of division. The above series of events stands as a good example of WHY He gave this admonition. Our 3D mindset cannot understand the dimensions beyond, which are true states of light. It can, and does, mimic 5D- primarily among those who are convinced of their own virtuousness. 5D reality, to the extent that it does envelop a physical being, does so slowly, methodically and in a state of heart-mind balance. The intellectuals who are now being duped by Koch-or by his opposite numbers in the group that very loosely functions as a cabal-type oligarchy, are captives of their own egos.
I am hardly a saint, but cannot deny my own love for humanity, for the sake of supporting either oligarchy. I pray that the younger generations, and those of us elders who are not yet deluded, will see through both deceptions. Let us develop our individual sense of responsibility, and build a truly enlightened, inclusive society, beholden to no oligarch.
August 7, 2020-
There is a fact of life, especially in today’s America, that owning one’s viewpoint, life choices and spirituality comes at a cost. There are always going to be those who think they know your needs better than you yourself know them. Being in charge of own life is not a cakewalk. Others, especially online, will appear, with demands, expectations and preferences, which may or may not dovetail with what one has planned.
You may say, “Well, isn’t that how it is, in ANY social situation?” Yes, and with seven billion and umpty-ump million people on the surface of the Earth, it will get more intensely so. The fact remains, however, that at the end of the day, it is whether I can look in the mirror and honestly say that I lived the day in a state of integrity, hopefully tempered with humility, that makes the day well-spent, or not.
I have been questioned, recently, as to why I might agree with points raised by conservatives, on one day; then agree with points raised by progressives, another day. The answer is easier than it looks. Neither group is qualitatively engaged in refuting the other’s points, with regard to those points with which I am agreeing. For example, if I say an unborn child ‘s life is worthy of EVERY reasonable effort at maintaining its efficacy, that does not mean I am advocating vicious hounding of a woman who is heading into an abortion clinic. In reality, that person should not be HOUNDED or pressured by EITHER faction in the matter. She should be enveloped, bathed, in love and have all options presented to her, in a pressure-free, NON-MERCENARY atmosphere.
If someone asks me to approve or disapprove of the current sitting President, I can honestly say I approve of his work in stemming the trafficking of women and children. I honestly approve of his working with the governments of Latin American countries, in stopping the flood of people from out of those countries and stemming the influence and aggressive behaviour of gangs-especially in Central America. There are other policies of his, of which I vehemently disapprove- such as the sending of a large corps of armed DHS agents into some of our cities-without first coordinating the effort with local governments. That situation seems to be getting more consultation-based. The COVID-19 response is a whole other can of worms-and much of the difficulty lies in both individual mindsets and in the diversity of local situations, across the country-but I digress.
Essentially, my life is not meant to be lived by going about and seeking to be a font of agreement, with each person, on each issue. I have, however, the conviction that each person who crosses my path does have points to offer, that may well be of help, in making my life more authentic. This life is still a work in progress, as is everyone else’s.
My Faith will remain as is; my heart for people will stay in place; my mind will remain flexible, as we have learned that anything can happen.
August 5, 2020-
I have recently had to address the issue of whether I am taking firm stances on matters, or am just flip-flopping, in order to keep disparate groups of friends happy. The truth of the matter is this: I can extract grains of truth in the statements and positions held by friends and family who may not agree with me, and who definitely do not agree with one another.
I look at it this way. We all came from the same Heavenly, Universal Source. Whether people’s ideologies or theologies allow for it, there is only one Creator, one Energy that has brought all life into the Universe, the Milky Way Galaxy, the Solar System and the Planet. Some get hung up on names, on fear of demons, on duality. These last two concerns are certainly prudent, in my book. God does not want us to be consumed by Dark Energy.
We are meant to be beings of Light. We are meant to be reverent, just, loving to one another, regardless of which God-oriented or Light-directed creed to which we adhere. Again, I can tell the difference between Light and Dark. Even in the case of Dark masquerading as Light-the hate reveals itself in short order-as I learned nearly two years ago.
So, I tell myself-and those I love, to “Live Your Truth”. By doing so, mistakes will be revealed and we may then choose to correct- or to persist in error. God knows, I have had to make several corrections, over the years.
There are, though, things about which I will never cave:
- Every conceived life is sacred, and worthy of the effort at saving and fostering.
- Every born child is sacred, and worthy of nurturing and protection. Despite the position of Word Press, that children’s rights is not an acceptable term for use as a tag, I will continue to hold it in my heart as a talisman. SHAME on the administrators of this platform, for taking such an oppostional stance on this issue.
- Every case of suspected abuse or neglect of a child or teenager merits full investigation and the pursuit of justice-no matter HOW HIGH UP in status the suspected abuser sits.
- Every sentient being is worthy of respect and dignity.
- God never leaves Mankind alone, to our own devices. We have free will, and we are given parameters within which that free will may be used for the full development of our virtues.
- When among all Light-oriented beings, I choose to be inclusive. When confronted by Dark forces, my barrier will go up. I am grateful that this last has only had to happen three times, in my entire life.
August 2, 2020-
It turns out that the individual who torched the Arizona Democratic Headquarters, over a week ago, is mentally ill. Republicans, and others, who read only the part about his being a member of the Democratic Party are, predictably, chortling about how this just goes to show that it’s a big farce, orchestrated to bring down President Trump-because, hey, what else is there in the world?
The individual is mentally ill. I know, firsthand, how that feels. Everything is about “MEEE”. Imagined slights take on a reality that knows no bounds. Good people become viewed as monsters-for any number of reasons-most of which are contrived by a mind in pain. So, it came about, that an individual acted to destroy that which he deemed inperfect, and, thus, expendable.
There were all those times, in my distant past, and in more recent years, when autism led to the bouts of self-centeredness, mild delusion and not a little paranoia. It took a good deal of self-work to separate my mother’s high bar of expectations, itself grounded in love, from the blistering criticisms of some of my peers, who left no room for error-or in a few instances, even humanness. Through meditation, correcting my diet, my wife’s love, and adoption of a Faith that actually lived the love prescribed by Jesus the Christ, but ignored by so many of His followers, I achieved a sense of equilibrium.
There have been relapses, and setbacks, mostly in times of high stress. There are those who were present during those times-and who remember, all too well, how things went down. I am grateful that forgiveness, and securing my word that such behaviours will not be repeated, were their responses.
Conversely, I have striven, when confronted with other mentally-ill people, to do right by them. In one case, the person was able to get a leg up and straighten out his life. In two other cases, that was not the result, as of the last time I heard from either one. I felt the need to cut one loose, for personal safety reasons and the other, because of an increasing stridency and level of verbal harassment on his part.
It’s taken time to begin to overcome the tension I have felt, when seeing a small, older model of RV driving around or when starting up my phone, and getting more than one Instant Messenger “ping”. Realizing that these are left-over post-traumatic reactions has helped greatly.
I am ever grateful to all who have, either consciously or unconsciously, helped me put my own demons to bed. In all this time of relative aloneness, I have been able to soothe those ills, and make myself a far more useful person, amenable to this comforting society around me.
July 30, 2020-
Herman Cain died this mornng, the victim of , apparently, the after effects of Coronavirusdisease 19 on his vital organs. He was, by all accounts, a still robust man. This underscores the reason for every one of us to continue to take this NOVEL disease seriously, and consistently so.
COVID-19 is infecting some high profile people, across the political spectrum. Microbes do not care who you are, or who you think you are. “The Hermanator” was a colourful human being, a pizza magnate who, at one point, thought he might make a fine President of the United States. His worldview was not my worldview, by any means, yet his death diminishes us-because he was, in essence, a man of love.
Now, as his family and friends mourn his passing, let those who were with him, at the event which likely was the scene of his infection, take stock of their own health-as we all must.
This news just added to the residue of yesterday. Early Wednesday morning, a loaded freight train, passing through Tempe, Arizona, went off the rails. The friction set the wooden bridge, over which the train was passing, afire. The bridge collapsed, several cars tumbled off the bridge and into a vacant park. Some other cars hung from the edge, over a major parkway.
Fortunately, there was no loss of life, and the sole injury was to the train’s conductor: Smoke inhalation. Police and fire crews responded swiftly, spectators who were in harm’s way were removed from the area and the few joggers, walkers., cyclists and boaters who were at nearby Tempe Town Lake had the good sense to stop their activities and head for home.
This was the second derailment on that bridge, in little over a month. The first one, on June 27, was underreported and it is not clear whether Santa Fe Railroad, which owns the bridge, even had plans to address the issue. Now, they have no choice.
The larger question, as with bridge collapses in other places, over other rights of way, is: How widespread is this issue? How many other railroad bridges, across the country and across the planet, are outmoded, decrepit, unsafe? It is time for ALL rail companies, not just Santa Fe Railroad, to start assessing the tensile strength of their bridges.
Finally, the matter of the torching at Arizona Democratic Headquarters, on July 26, has an update: A registered Democrat has admitted, nay, BOASTED, of having set the fire. This was not aimed at framing conservatives or alt-Right people, as some had speculated. The perpetrator is a mentally ill man, who has a recent history of making delusional statements and excessive demands on certain people, including the Chair of the Maricopa County Democratic Party, which also had offices in the same building.
The investigation, of course, is ongoing. As is this day, which will, among other things, feature the unsealing of some of the documents pertaining to the case of alleged sexual predator, Ghislaine Maxwell. July is far from over.
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